Archive for the ‘Doing It Wrong’ Category

Noob Strength Gains: You’re Doing it Wrong

Monday, August 1st, 2022
noob strength gains

Hey listen, we get it! You’re feeling impatient about those Noob Strength Gains. You went to the gym once, maybe even twice and you can’t yet find your six-pack abs. You can’t quite bench your body weight. You have failed to even deadlift your own body weight. Pull-ups? Well, you can only do 1 or 2.

THAT’S OK!! Things are going to change.

You want all your friends and followers to know how Swole you’re getting, right? Sorry to burst your bubble, but you’re not Swole yet. At least give it 3-6 months before you announce your new hobby and your aggressive strength goals. You’re sure to get some enthusiasm and support along the way but go slow with your social posting.

Being Swole takes months, even years of dedication and consistency. You can get healthier by working out a few times… actually no you can’t. Being healthier still takes consistency over the course of months and years and really requires additional lifestyle adjustments. The Noob Strength Gains will set in quickly with determined consistency, so stay the course, give it some time, and push it HARD when it’s time to push!

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Treadmill Workouts: You’re Doing It Wrong

Thursday, January 27th, 2022

Working Out on a Treadmill: You cats are doing it wrong!

Firstly, your form is all off. You can’t jump onto the treadmill sideways then fall off the backside. This takes all the tension off your muscles and puts you in danger of serious lower-body injury. Treadmill workouts can be dangerous if you’re screwing around trying to make your friends laugh.

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Fit and Sexy: You’re Doing it Wrong

Sunday, January 9th, 2022
Fit and Sexy: You're Doing it Wrong

As a fitness instructor back in the day, I would often hear this objection to weight training from females, “but I don’t want to get too bulky”. Well, these ‘fit and sexy’ professional female bodybuilders are the reason for those objections. However, truth be told, you have to take lots of anabolic steroids and other substances to end up like these two beauties. Much props to the effort they put in to get to this point, but unfortunately, 99.9% of female athletes would prefer NOT to look like this. Therefore on the ‘fit and sexy’ front, in my opinion, these ladies are doing it wrong.

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Barbell Squats: You’re Doing Them Wrong

Saturday, January 8th, 2022
barbell squats: you're doing them wrong

I’ve heard of balance training, I’ve heard of barbell squats, and I’ve heard of swiss ball squats. To my recollection, no one has ever done any of those exercises quite like this.

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Santa Knows When You’ve Been Training

Friday, December 17th, 2021

Santa:
I know when you’ve been running.
I know when you lift weights.
I know if your form is bad or good,
and how many scoops are in your protein shakes.

Me:
Bro, do you even lift?

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Push Ups

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Push Ups - You're doing them wrong!

This dude was voted most likely to fall on his nose.

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Dumbell Squats

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Dumbell Squats - You're doing them wrong!

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